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Your First Holiday with Baby: Tips for Setting Boundaries and Enjoying the Season
Your First Holiday with Baby: Tips for Setting Boundaries and Enjoying the Season
*Blog is for EDUCATIONAL purposes only, NOT medical advice
The first holiday season with your baby is a special milestone.
It’s an opportunity to create meaningful traditions and soak in the magic of this new chapter as a family. But it’s no secret that holidays can also bring challenges—whether it’s unsolicited advice, well-meaning relatives overstepping, or the overwhelming social expectations that come with family gatherings.
If you’re navigating these challenges while trying to protect the joy of your first holiday with your baby, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about how to embrace this season while keeping family dynamics from overshadowing your experience.
And as a mom of three, let me just tell you that learning to set boundaries sooner rather than later will be much more beneficial to your mental health and holiday memories.
Your Feelings Are Valid:
The holidays can stir up a mix of emotions, especially as you adjust to life with a baby. You might feel excited to share this time with loved ones but also protective of your baby’s needs and your own boundaries. Some moments may even feel frustrating or disappointing if plans don’t go as you’d hoped. Just remember, YOU are allowed to have these feelings. Your Feelings Are Valid:
What to Remember:
- You’re allowed to set the tone for how your family celebrates this year.
- Prioritizing your baby’s needs is not only okay—it’s necessary.
- Protecting your peace doesn’t mean you’re being difficult.
*Take a moment to remind yourself: “I am allowed to celebrate in a way that feels right for my family.”
3 Common Challenges and Practical Ways to Handle Them:
Challenge 1: Unsolicited Advice or Judgments3 Common Challenges and Practical Ways to Handle Them:
Everyone loves sharing their parenting opinions during the holidays—whether it’s about feeding, sleep schedules, or general baby care. While some advice is helpful, it can feel like criticism when it conflicts with your parenting style.
How to Respond:
- “Thanks for the suggestion! We’ve found a routine that works well for us.”
- “We appreciate your input, but we’re sticking to what feels right for our baby.”
If someone suggests giving your baby a taste of pie or mashed potatoes before you’re ready to introduce solids:“We’re introducing solids on our own timeline. Thanks for checking with us first!”
I will never forget an incident during my oldest son's first Christmas. A family member shoved a spoonful of rice pudding into his mouth, while we were holding him, with no warning! He hadn't had any milk products then I was in a severe panic that he would have an allergic reaction. It had never even registered to me that someone would do that without clearing with us first.
Challenge 2: Family Members Wanting All the Time and Attention
With a new baby in the mix, everyone wants to see you—and, of course, the baby. While it’s great to have supportive family, too many visits or events can disrupt your baby’s routine and leave you feeling stretched thin.
How to Set Limits:
- “We’re so excited to spend time together! Baby does best with shorter visits, so how about a quick morning coffee or a walk in the afternoon?”
- “We’ve planned some quiet family time this evening, but let’s plan something fun for tomorrow.”
If grandparents want to stay all day and hold the baby non-stop, try saying:“We’ll need to break up the visit so baby can nap and recharge.”
Sleep is a crucial aspect in baby's routine and development. And especially if you have worked so hard to get a routine down, it is more than okay to be protective of it.
Challenge 3: Overstepping Boundaries
Sometimes family members overstep, whether it’s taking over caregiving tasks, offering food without asking, or pressuring you to let them hold the baby when they’re fussy or tired.
How to Respond Kindly but Firmly:
- “We’re handling feedings and naps a specific way for now. Thank you for understanding.”
- “I know everyone’s excited to hold the baby, but they seem happiest in my arms right now. Let’s wait until they’re settled.”
If someone insists on holding your baby during a fussy moment, try:“It seems like they need some time to calm down. I’ll hold them for now, but we’ll let you know when they’re ready for a cuddle.”
Just a Reminder: YOU know YOUR baby best, don't let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise.
Challenge 4: Group Photos and Activities
Big family traditions like group photos, gift exchanges, or loud celebrations can feel overwhelming with a baby in tow.
How to Set Expectations:
- “We’ll be part of the group photo, but we’ll need to leave right after to keep baby on schedule.”
- “We’re skipping the gift exchange this year and focusing on baby’s first holiday instead.”
If your baby gets overstimulated during loud games or celebrations, gently step away and say:"Baby needs a quick break from all the excitement, but we’ll be back in a little bit!”
Also important to consider too, your privacy with photos. Especially when it comes to social media, make clear rules or guidelines. You can let family members know that photos of YOUR child do not need to be posted on their accounts or that they should at least ask YOU permission before posting photos of your child for all to see. Your baby and your family's privacy and safety take priority.
Create New Traditions That Center Your Family:
Holidays are a wonderful time to create traditions that feel meaningful for your little family. Consider these ideas:Create New Traditions That Center Your Family:
- Morning Memories: Start your day with cozy pajamas and snuggling together before any events or visitors.
- First Ornament: Pick or make a special ornament to commemorate your baby’s first holiday.
- Photo Traditions: Take a quiet family photo before gatherings start so you can focus on the day instead of the camera.
- Family Dinner: Enjoy a private meal before or after bigger celebrations to keep the day feeling personal and special.
Helpful Phrases to Keep Handy:
Sometimes, having a response ready can make a stressful moment much easier to handle.Helpful Phrases to Keep Handy:
- When declining a visit: “Thanks for thinking of us! We’re keeping things quiet this year to focus on baby’s routine, but let’s plan a time to catch up soon.”
- When someone comments on parenting choices: “We’re so happy with how things are going right now. Thanks for understanding that every baby is different!”
- When someone offers food to your baby without asking: “We’re waiting to introduce new foods until we’re ready. Thank you for respecting that.”
- When things feel too loud or overwhelming: “Baby needs a little quiet time. We’re going to step away for a bit to reset.”
Remind Yourself - This Holiday Belongs to YOUR Family:
At the end of the day, this season is about creating memories with your baby and celebrating on your terms. Family excitement is wonderful, but it’s okay to set limits so you can enjoy this special milestone without stress.Remind Yourself - This Holiday Belongs to YOUR Family:
When things feel overwhelming, pause and remind yourself:
- “I know what’s best for my baby, and I’m confident in my decisions.”
- “It’s okay to say no to protect our peace.”
- “This holiday is about my family’s joy and connection.”
By setting boundaries and focusing on what matters most, you’re giving yourself the space to fully embrace the magic of your baby’s first holiday.
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me, and let’s create a plan that brings confidence and ease to your holiday season. Together, we’ll make this first holiday a memory you’ll cherish for years to come. Click HERE to book your consult today!
Post Published 11.24.2024
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